Straying from Authenticity: A Journey of Self-Discovery and Reflection
Have you ever felt like you've been through a phase in your life where you weren't your true self, yet you enjoyed it because you felt like you had a valid reason for it? I'm 20, feeling somewhat melancholic, and unsure of who I truly am.
Leaving Myself Behind
Today, I didn't feel like myself. There were no triggers or stimuli to get me thinking. However, upon stepping out for a walk, I realized that I was out of my element. I wrapped myself in winter gear and found myself walking around a campus that was still decked out for Christmas. The atmosphere at Starbucks was also very festive, with a retro soundtrack playing that transported me back in time.
The store felt like a scene from the 1950s, with a debonair man reading the newspaper and a barista taking orders from a notepad. As if by magic, my own reflection showed a completely different version of me wearing a polka dot dress and carrying a phone that was nothing more than a simple leather diary. I found myself thinking, "I need to powder my nose." It was a surreal experience that left me questioning who I was and who I wanted to be.
The Pleasure of Not Being Yourself
There was something in that music that transported me to a different world. Outside the store, Teslas and sedans drove past, and young people played on their iPhones while time seemed to stand still inside. It was like a scene out of the Twilight Zone.
It can be a real pleasure to not be yourself for a while. If you consider five years a long time, then you might say yes to this experience. In my past, I was a social climber, causing drama between friends and being very materialistic. I had to have the latest and greatest to talk to people. This lifestyle was interesting to experience, and I made some outrageous purchases during weekends at the mall. However, I wasn't a good person. I stole money from others because I felt I had to fit in and be cool. While it worked on many fronts, I wasted a lot of money, time, and missed out on having genuine friends. I was too busy moving from one person to the next to climb the social ladder.
The Importance of Authenticity
The coolest thing to do is to be true to yourself. You are an original, and no one can take that from you. Despite the not-so-great experiences, I did have some fun times along the way. One of the most critical lessons I learned was the importance of authenticity. Being true to yourself leads to more meaningful and fulfilling relationships and experiences.
The journey of self-discovery is ongoing. Reflecting on my past experiences helps me to grow and become a better version of myself. It's essential to embrace your originality and live a life that is true to who you are. After all, life is about the becoming, and nothing is really ever done.