Expressing Myself: A Son’s Yearning for His Mother

Recently, if I could have one piece of advice to give to my mother, it would be to embrace me wholly, without the filters and judgments. Her words and actions have left an indelible mark on me, both positive and negative. Over the years, I've carried with me the weight of her comments and the impact they've had on my self-perception and mental well-being.

The Reality of Life Away From Home

With the advent of my college life, the spectrum of my existence abruptly expanded. Now, the responsibilities of daily life fall firmly onto my shoulders. Despite the independence I've gained, certain bonds remain unshakable. My mother’s affection, though sometimes masked, still finds a way to reach me, even from afar.

Her Continuous Concern and Care

One aspect of my long-distance relationship with home that genuinely touches my heart is her persistent concern. Every morning, even from across the miles, she inquires if I have eaten anything. Her genuine interest in my day, even the bad ones, makes a lasting impression. When faced with network issues, she repeatedly calls to check on me, ensuring my well-being remains a top priority.

A Journey of Emotions

As I type these words, a cascade of emotions engulfs me. Secretly, I hold so much more for her than I’ve ever been able to express. From the tight hugs of the mornings to her comforting kisses, from the cozy comfort of sleeping with my arms wrapped around her to the serene silence of laying my head on her lap, these memories are etched in my heart. Even the scoldings and after-lunch conversations hold a place of warmth and love.

Reflecting on My Relationship with My Mother

It is clear that my thoughts and feelings towards my mother are complex. On one hand, there are moments of frustration and hurt due to her past words. On the other hand, there is a profound yearning for the love and connection we are capable of sharing. These emotions are rarely seen in public, making it even more significant to have this internal dialogue.

A Love Letter

Though the thought of sharing these feelings openly might cause her to become emotional, there is a part of me that believes in the purity and depth of our connection. I miss not only the tangible expressions of love but also the nuances of our shared past. And yes, I do miss you, Maa. You have been and continue to be a fundamental part of my life.