Adjusting to Life After Prison: Supporting Your Husband of 10 Years

When your spouse of ten years, who has been in prison for twenty years (and only for a crime he did not commit, as of thirty years ago), is about to be released, expect a different person. The experience of being in prison has likely profoundly altered his demeanor, behavior, values, and internal dialogue.

What to Expect

He’ll be uneasy and scared, experiencing information overload and adjustments to a new environment. It’s important to be caring, supportive, and very patient. He may deal with depression, anxiety, and-esteem issues. These are normal responses to a traumatic experience, and it will take time to adjust.

Pay attention to triggers that might cause him to abruptly leave, become angry, or fall into a state of silence. Keys to helping him are patience, support, and respect. Remember, he is a different person who will likely need to be courted all over again.

Effects of Long-Term Prison Stays

A long prison sentence, especially one lasting twenty years, can have a significant impact on a person’s mental and emotional well-being. The released inmate will likely suffer from PTSD, which can affect their discomfort in crowds of people, difficulty in small spaces, detachment from others, flashbacks, nightmares, insomnia, lack of motivation, and sometimes drug and alcohol problems. You
face a challenge ahead, but with patience and support, you can help your spouse navigate these difficulties.

Note on the Timeframe

If you married your husband while he was in prison and have spent the last ten years with him, you may not have known what he was like pre-prison. All you have to go on is how he’s been since you met him. If this is true, it’s crucial to recognize that he will be a different person than he was before being incarcerated. Long prison sentences fundamentally change a person, and they do not merely return to life as it was before.

Finding Your New Normal

Many released prisoners find it difficult to walk through a Walmart or trust others, especially if they were wrongly accused. Most will struggle with night terrors and employment, with only a few becoming improved individuals post-release. The impact of a long prison sentence can vary widely, and there’s no single answer to what to expect. However, you should focus on what to expect from yourself—the need to remain patient, calm, and supportive.

He had established routines and a reputation within prison. Once released, all of these are gone. Take things slow and easy, and don’t be afraid to reach out for support. You are not alone in these changes. There are resources and groups that can offer understanding and assistance to both of you.

Best Wishes

Best wishes to you both as you transition into this new chapter. Remember, patience, support, and understanding will be key to navigating this challenging but hopeful journey.